God, we are so pleased to have you with us today. If you
don't mind we have just a few questions.
I don't mind the questions. However, you may mind the answers.
Listen, don't worry about us.
I can't help it.
We're trying so hard to save your people, but they just
won't cooperate. Any tips?
Do you feel saved?
Of course I do, I attended a Dale Carnegie workshop.
Oh. And does this Dale Carnegie feel saved?
Of course he does. He's famous. Haven't you ever heard of him?
Yes.
You see, this is part of the new person-to-person ministry
within the church.
New? Excuse me, please, would you mind putting out
that
cigarette; you're spoiling the air.
Oh, certainly. I'm just a little nervous, I guess. It's not every
day that you get to talk to God.
Oh, really? I'm in contact with many people daily.
Your grandmother, in fact.
My Grandmother! You know my Grandmother?
Yes, quite well. Do YOU know your grandmother?
Of course I know my Grandmother.
She's quite sick.
She never told us she was sick.
She doesn't want to bother you because you're so
busy...saving my people I guess.
Hey! What's that supposed to mean?
It means I'm worried about your grandmother.
Well, which do you want me to do, take care of my
Grandmother or help you save your people?
I thought they were the same thing.
Nope. It's a new church now. We use these nifty things
called committees to reach people.
Committees? I don't remember creating any of these things called committees.
You didn't. We did! And they're fantastic. They have
meetings and write up documents and make rules and regulations and policy.
These meetings and documents and rules, what are
they for?
They `protect and direct, guard and guide'.
Have you ever tried prayer for that?
Aha! we have a whole committee for that.
No, I mean have YOU ever tried prayer?
Oh sure. One last question then I'll let you go.
Thank you.
What is the secret of life...you know, the formula for success?
Well, if you ever get a minute, I'd suggest you go ask
your grandmother.