I feel stunned for a moment, almost in shock. I have nothing to worry about. Nothing!
Then anxiety creeps back in. It starts with "what will happen if" and has no single-thought ending because they all flood back — the fears, the worries, the doubts.
I force them away. There is no need for anything in this place, I can see that. But what about the next place? No, there is no need for anything there either. But suppose there is no next place? Suppose that door opens into nothing and even I disappear? I've just given away all I worked so hard for on the chance there is something better. I could probably get all my things back with a wish, but somehow they are no longer important. I must try to reason forward.
I am trusting my experience, following something within. While I am stunned, I also feel excited about discoveries that lie ahead. Ahead. I must not look back.
Fear no longer has a place in my life, for I came here eager to learn and have nothing now to lose. Fear listens to shouts from the crowd warning of dangers lying in wait should one stray from the norms they have lived by. "Believe as we believe or something terrible will happen...to all of us. Stay here where it is safe — do not go into the cave where, we have been warned, lives a dragon. If you go you may bring danger to all our lives. Stay, you must stay."
I can't stay. I can't. Don't you see? Something wonderful has happened to me and I can remain here no longer. I must be on my way.
I am running now, far away from the crowd. I can still hear their anxious sounds, see their fists raised in anger. Some have broken away and are coming after me. They may catch up, but I will not go back. I am free, exhilarated. I run and run and run. Suddenly, I am in a field of light. Exhausted from the run, I drop to the ground.
This feels like a new place. I have found the still point between being and belief. Here I am but a springing forth. Like the flowers and green things, I too have my season, my particular beauty. I will follow the scent of the jasmine, the song of the bird and see where they lead.
I am so happy here. There is only beauty now. It is all around me. I can feel it. And I am a part of this beauty. I will never go back.
The worried voices of the crowd are gone. It is easier now to still my mind and be patient — to wait in terrifying anticipation of the great moment — for I believe I have stumbled upon the threshold of God. There will be a visit soon.